jaded

4.3.07 - feeling jaded (adjective?). that's what i feel like now...or something like that.
uni's barely started and I already feel like I am trudging through the desert (figuratively speaking)...and I don't think it is to do with the heat...
strange feeling, I don't feel a strong interest to do anything in particular, yet living day in day out in this lacklustre routine seems not quite right.
got to get out of this somehow...though I feel like there is an infuriating feeling of not having the "goldilocks effect"- i think i made that up - but anyway i can't seem to get hold of the feeling that "this is just rightttt..." which makes being happy with current circumstances difficult.
i need to see the silver lining in the cloud but the clouds are grey at the moment..i think i am jabbering nonsense. never mind...been thinking too much and living too little again...a trap that beckons like an innocent black hole...

6.3.07 - feeling slightly happier. today wasn't too bad. met up with jeen sern (from primary school who i didn't know was in QUT for the past 2 years! been good chatting about many things under the sun, its a nice warm feeling seeing ppl from your childhood, seeing them going places, moving towards their individual dreams and seeing their passion bear fruit..all in all rather inspiring..AND also today 2 guys offered their seats to me in the bus =)..not that i want to sound smug in saying that but its nice, u know, chivalry still alive now and then ^^ also actually took time out to go for a course-related free talk, free food, coffee and even a goodie bag while listening about economics. ahh free stuff, what can i say. was pretty good though, didnt think i'd see anyone i know there but thank God they were a few.