in the slumbering heat

sorry for the delay again...no mood la...the weather like so de hot and sleepy...

in the slumbering heat, torn between selfish and family obligations. There are no utterly blissful decisions, no choices without its opportunity costs. That is a dreadful word- opportunity costs...but that's life, hey! i do miss my carefree days of going out whenever i want, but i do also want to spend time with my family seeing i am away most of the year...what do i want?? yesss..females are complicated but i think this issue is not limited to the fickleness of the fairer sex. it's funny that I can stay at home the whole day here whereas in Brissy I can't take it. I think it's the background noise, chinese oldies songs' lullaby, grasscutters low drone, child chatter that gives an illusion that there are things going on.

well Christmas came and went, managed to meet up with various ones with the "see you sometime soon" in the hope that I will, but will never know what happens in life, changes etc. ...
okay gosh- i have become so pessimistic...i need to stop it~~i guess i am a contradiction sometimes, my idealistic side of "you can make happen whatever you want" getting shot down by the cynical "you can't control everything in this world". I guess coming back this round has made me realise one thing, that through the different places and different set of people, I am comforted that God is still there, everytime and everywhere. Sometimes I feel it's the only certain thing holding all of it together when I am going through the different stages of my life..

For me, this year Christmas arhh.. hrm.*reflective thought* I managed to sing some karaoke at home, play some pixelated video game with my sister, and bake a humongous batch of american hershey's milk choc and white choc cookies (okay i made that name up so it sounds delish)...also indulging in my home cooked roast chicken ! chicken beats turkey anytime (why do ppl eat turkey at Christmas anyway?) But most importantly Christmas was a time of gratitude:-

Look at yourself and be disappointed
Look at others and be discouraged
Look at God and be satisfied

Not to say that the people around me are discouraging, I have many beautiful times with wonderful friends (thanks guys)..but there are no perfect years and no perfect people. But through it all, I really do thank God that I have a family He has provided for me, though we have have issues, and I am thankful that I have friends too- "family" when I am in Brissy and even old friends here who has been a tremendous support to me and who accept me with all my quirks..=p And I can say that 2006 has been made much better knowing all of you...

well enough ponderous yarns for now..till next time.